Easton is precious all the time but there is something about watching him sleep that steals both Justin's and my heart. When I was pregnant (and even before that) I would hear from people (coworkers, friends, family, even people I didn't know that would stop me in the mall or grocery store) about how having a child changes your heart and your life in ways you can't fathom. I always thought "Yea, yea. That's what they all say" not knowing that my own heart would change immediately the minute Easton would arrive. My heart changed toward the way I saw my husband, who was not only by my side during Easton's delivery but was actually part of the delivery team in the hospital, holding his breath as I did with each push then releasing it every time I did to rest before the next contraction. My heart changed toward other mothers of sons: I thought of Melanie Bittle and her strength after losing little Hunter; I thought of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who watched her son die upon the cross; I thought of my mother-in-law and instantly understood a glimpse of the love she has for my husband (her first born son). My heart changed toward the way I saw myself: selfish. After Easton's birth I felt almost a conviction and embarrassment about the thoughts of resentment I had, while carrying him, toward the changes that were happening to my body (the weight gain, the emotions that would change like a roller coaster, the swelling of my ankles). You see, I didn't understand the gift I would receive on November 7. Sure...I had been happy about being pregnant, but truly did not understand what having a child would mean.
As a control freak with a "type A" personality, I've always joked and said "If the Lord wants to get my attention, all He has to do is change one thing in my life and He's got it". Well He did make a change...and I'm so glad He did.
